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Thursday, October 10, 2019

Two Wheels Out of State

This web journal has Foreign Service Bicyclist prominently in its title, and thus it should surprise no one that I chose to celebrate my official retirement from the Department of State on August 31 by setting out on my longest bicycle tour to date.  I left Washington, DC, on August 31 and arrived at my retirement home north of Bangor, Maine, on October 2.  It was a journey of just over a month and 2495 km (1560 miles).  I transcribe below the day-by-day journal I kept along the way.  It is a chronological account focused on the technical, physical aspects of the journey and may prove useful to others who set out on such a long tour.  I include notes on the route and my packing list at the end.  

I may have more to write about the spiritual side at a later date. . . .


Saturday, August 31, 2019
-- Starting odometer reading:  4323 km


Done and the bicycle journey has begun!

I'm too heavily loaded, but oh well.  I'll have to learn all over again.  Traffic being shut down on Waugh Chapel Road in Gambrills, MD, was no help.  Good thing I left my sister's early.  I made it to the MARC train with just ten minutes to spare, but I made it!

Having RK waiting for me at Union Station was wonderful.  Lunched at The Dubliner.  Boarded The Capitol Limited at 4:05pm and arrived in Harper's Ferry at 5:25.  The station and pedestrian bridge across the Potomac are very bike unfriendly, but otherwise all worked like a charm.  I'm already in my tent a few miles above HF, and it is just 8pm.  Tomorrow will be the first real travel day.

Sunday, September 1, 2019 -- 4444 km


As of midnight last night, I am fully, completely free.  I am no longer an employee of the U.S. Department of State.  I am no longer a Foreign Service Officer.

Person of note:  Al at the hiker-biker above HF last night.  He biked her from New Hampshire, more or less doing the reverse of my ride.

Good distance today, more than I expected despite the heavy load.  I'm camped just below Hancock.  I could have continued into or beyond Hancock, but there was no point.  I do not have the cabin in Little Orleans until Monday evening.

The canal towpath is in better shape than I remember.  The washed-out portion around Big Slackwater has been repaired.  There is no more long road detour as there was when I last went through here in 1991.


Monday, September 2, 2019


Good morning from the Park 'n Dine in Hancock!  I haven't been here since 2000-2002 during what were for me difficult years.  Despite that, I take comfort in revisiting familiar places now on my own terms but also not forgetting the good there was in those times.


Thursday, September 5, 2019


Little Orleans.  I've already cried once this morning, and I sill have an entire day left.  How many more tears will there be tomorrow morning?

I finally understood why LO has been so special to me.  It has been my home, the one constant in twenty years of upheaval, change, and transition.  When I first came here in the late 1990s, I had no inkling that my life was about to change radically.  I had made my peace with my marriage, my career, and my gender.  Things would go on as they were to the end of my days.

Fast forward to the week I spent here in 2004 between the end of my time at Computer Sciences Corp. and the start of my second career at state.  If I had known how big a jolt this was going to be to my system, I would have gone running as fast as I could to the safety of the past.  It was good I did not know.  The peace, the передышка (breathing space) of that week at LO gave me the strength to endure what was about to come.

Then followed my week in September 2007.  I was back from two years in Moscow and had decided to give divorce one last try.  Again, if I had known what the next four years were to bring, I never would have set out on the path.  The week in LO gave me inner strength to endure what was to come.

I spent only one night here in August 2014, but that too marked a transition.  In fact, I had transitioned in 2011 in Romania and had just spent a very busy year as president of Glifaa.  On the one hand it seemed that, with only five years left to go, my career was as good as over, but I had not a hint of the struggles, tears, and joy the next three years in Kazakhstan were to bring.  The one night stay at LO with NN in August 2016 came on the eve of Project Sultana that was to bring its own trials, joys, and heartbreak.

That brings me to my rediscovery of LO when I spent three days here in June 2018.  I had written my resignation letter and, with the peace I found at LO, had made peace with the ending of a career a year short of the finish line.

2018-19 brought a marathon of visits in October, February, and April as I endured the final year at State and a group living arrangement.  The April visit was a celebration of family and friends.  The image of M, T, FK, RK, and CT around the fire that Saturday evening is a memory that will remain engraved in my mind for years to come.

Through all these years of tumult, LO has been the constant, the one unchanging physical anchor.  That is the very definition of home.

My visit this week marks yet another transition:  retirement.  With all the rush of my last month in DC, it is only here at LO that I am able to begin to take in the magnitude of this change.  I am truly done with the world of work and career.

I always have tears in my eyes when I leave LO.  I have even said goodbye before, certain I would not be returning.  Thus I will not say goodbye as I leave tomorrow even as I know the odds of future visits are remote.  I will leave with emotion, tears, and great thanks for all that Little Orleans has given me in this life.




 

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

I am camped less than 30 miles south of Pittsburgh.  It's 8:15am, and I would already be on my way if not for the damp.  I'm waiting for the sun to rise higher and dry out the tent.  I'm using points to get a room at the Hampton in Pittsburgh tonight, and the last thing I want to do is to have to open the tent in my hotel room just to dry it out.  Oh well, it's a low distance day.  There's no reason to rush.

All is going well.  Had a wonderful day with RK in Frostburg on Saturday.  Crossing the Eastern Continental Divide and going through the Big Savage Tunnel was a thrill.  Camping at Ohiopyle was a mistake.  The area is too touristed; the campground is a good (and expensive!) hike off the Great Allegheny Passage rail trail; and the trail conditions are sandy.  Traveling 26-27 km/hour, I took a curve at speed into deep sand.  I lost control and had my first bicycle spill since 2013 in Bucharest.  I scraped my wrist and wounded my pride.

Hurry up, sun!  I want to get to Pittsburgh!


Thursday, September 12, 2019
-- 5004 km


Pittsburgh has come and gone, and today is FK's 5th birthday.  I am spending the night at a campground in Mercer, PA, about halfway between Pittsburgh and Erie.

Getting into and out of Pittsburgh was not fun.  On the way in, the GAP degrades into multi-use recreational paths (MURP) of the type we have around DC that I oppose.  At least I got to my Hampton early enough to shower, do laundry, and make a quick trip to Point Park with good memories of my first visit there with family in 2001.

Leaving Pittsburgh meant going through a not-pretty post-industrial landscape with more Ohio River crossings than I can remember.  When dark clouds and thunder appeared at 4pm, I caved on my plans to camp and instead stayed with Pat and Tom at their B&B in Elliotsville.  It was a good night, and they are a lovely couple.  Still, lodging on this trip may be a major expense.

Today's ride was much more pleasant and scenic as it passed through Pennsylvania Dutch country.  I passed many PA Dutch farms and even a  schoolhouse where a boy yelled at me to go faster.  The route, however, was anything but flat, and I swallowed my cyclist pride as I walked my loaded bike up more than one hill.  When I arrived in Mercer around 3:30pm, I knew I was done for the day at only 40+ miles.  The next town with a campground was another 15 miles away.  I wouldn't make it before dark.

So here I sit as the light fails at 8pm, drinking my IPA reward of the day, thinking of RK and wishing he were here to share it with me.


Friday, September 13, 2019 -- 5081 km

$41 for a primitive campsite at a KOA in Meadville, PA.  Talk about highway robbery!

Overall, however, it was a better day.  I got started from the Mercer campground at 8:30am, road back to Mercer for a hearty Sheetz breakfast, and got underway fully by 10am.  No wrong turns today, and the hills seemed more manageable.  Only had to walk up one hear the end.  There was one long stretch of grooved pavement that made for slow going, but that was it for bad road conditions.  I could have gone even further, but after Meadville there is nowhere to stay until one almost reaches the lake.


Sunday, September 15, 2019 -- 5301 km

Had two wonderful days, first from Meadville to Erie and then from Erie into New York State.  The night in Meadville was my first truly bad one.  Stormed most of the night and kept me awake.  Fortunately, my twelve year old tent still proved reasonably water resistant.  (Note to self to seal the tent seams when I get home.)

The ride to Erie, however, was bright, sunny, and wonderful, finally more downhill than up.  Rode out onto Presque Isle for the view.  I spent an excellent night with TT & TN and their three children, my first use of the Warm Showers network.

I rode 123 km (75 miles) on Sunday, my longest single day ride since Astana to Akol, Kazakhstan, in 2016.  A woman at the convenience store outside Erie insisted on paying for my breakfast.

I crossed into NYS and spent the night at a campground on the shore of Lake Erie.  Andrey and Katya, the young couple camped next to me, were Russians from Moscow on their first visit to the US!  It felt good to speak Russian.  I watched the sun set over the lake.  Bridget, herself a solo camper, gave me two beers and a care package of snacks.  We sat together for the evening and swapped life stories.

Rained again overnight!


Monday, September 16, 2019 -- 5395 km

I'm in Canada after another good biking day.  If the mileage was less than on Sunday, it was because of negotiating my way through Buffalo with frequent map checks followed by walking the bike through passport control and across the Peace Bridge.  The final evening ride up the Canadian side of the Niagara River was refreshing and beautiful.

I've now completed over 1000km (~ 600 miles).  I am more than a third of the way through this trip.

PS -- Met D, a Venezuelan oil engineer.  Woke with so much dew on the tent that it might as well have rained overnight . . . again!


Tuesday, September 17, 2019 -- 5490 km

This was another good mileage day, but not all of it was productive.  I made a wrong turn not once but twice at the Canadian side of the Lewiston Bridge, thereby needlessly adding 5-8 miles to my day and causing me to stop sooner than I planned in Middleport, NY.

The Falls, of course, were beautiful.  A plus side to my wrong turn in Canada is that I've camped this night for free at a lovely hiker-biker site along the Erie Canal.


Wednesday, September 18, 2019 -- 5592 km

It was another metric century day, 102km, but it falls short of the 123km record of last Sunday.  Riding along the Erie Canal was beautiful, so different from the C&O Canal with its mud, rocks, and roots.  I stopped early, somewhat after 4pm, to do a hotel night in Pittsford, NY, and also to to laundry and Warm Shower host research that I should have done before I left DC.  Lodging -- camping included -- is the most expensive part of a trip like this, and Warm Showers is the best way to contain the cost.  Using it, however, requires advance research.


Thursday, September 19, 2019 -- 5714 km

I'm watching a beautiful sunset over Lake Ontario from Fair Haven State Park where I'm camped for the night.  At 121.3km, this was the second best distance day I have had, only slightly less than a kilometer below my best day.

The Erie Canal was wonderful as far as Rochester, but from there it descended into MURP-dom.  It was good to get away from it today.  The shore of Lake Ontario is gorgeous, I think more so than the Lake Erie shore.

Along the way I was passed by two men who are circumnavigating Lake Erie.  They certainly were faster than me, but they were not carrying camping gear.  Theirs is an entirely B&B and hotel trip.

PS -- It was so nice to wake up to a dry tent!  Noticed that my right ankle is starting to ache as I pedal. . . .


Friday, September 20, 2019 -- 5833 km

At 118+ km, this was another 75 mile day, albeit probably the last one given that I enter the Adirondacks tomorrow.  The terrain began to change as soon as I turned east from Lake Ontario, reminding me of Maine.

I camped at the Fiddler's Hall of Fame north of Osceola, but I hear no fiddling.  The RV just down from me sports a Confederate flag, but the people are nice.  Joe, the owner, charged me only $20 insofar as I am a solo woman on a bike.  (Have there been others?)  Tom, in another neighboring RV, gave me a table and chair for the night.

Alas, it looks like yet another dewy night.



Saturday, September 21, 2019 -- 5950 km

It was a gorgeous cycling day, this first day of autumn with the leaves more than just beginning to turn in upstate New York.   I went much further than I expected, 117 km (~72 miles), despite a late start and despite entering the Adirondacks.  I'm in Anne LaBastille country, and she has been on my mind all day.

In Osceola I met Pete, who is doing the support for three men riding the Norther Tier coast-to-coast route.  Ironically, I think I road further than they did today despite being fully loaded with camping gear.  I've now ridden over 1600 km (1000 miles) since leaving DC on August 31.

I am camped for **free** tonight at a NYS campground outside Inlet in the Adirondacks.  The young woman at the registration booth said she just could not take money from a grandmother traveling by bicycle with a tent.  She was my giver of trail magic at the end of this gorgeous day.


Sunday, September 22, 2019 -- 6045 km

This was a lower distance day, 94 km (~57 miles), by intent.  Through Raquette Lake, Blue Mountain Lake, and Long Lake, the hills reminded me of central Pennsylvania.  The roads were heavily trafficked with town people out to see the fall colors, and the shoulders and lane width left something to be desired.  These were not the best of cycling conditions.

In Blue Hill I met Mary Jane, a kayaker camping at Davis Lake.  In Long Lake I met Mark, another kayaker also out celebrating his retirement on September 11.

What made the day was my stopping point:  Newcomb.   The evening started badly when it turned out the full services promised in Newcomb by Adventure Cycling were a thing of the past.  I even knocked at the door of a private citizen, Bonnie, who called ahead to verify that a new kayak store at the Hudson River bridge was open and had at least some food.  Given the calories I have been burning and the voracious appetite it has engendered, going a night with granola bars as my only food would have been unbearable.

It's the campground that made this day.  I'm watching the most beautiful sunset I have yet seen on this trip.  It's дикий кемпинг (primitive camping) at a NYS facility that is already closed for the season.  It's on Harris Lake that feeds the Hudson.  I'm here all alone.  I washed myself off by lying down in the lake and splashing cool water over myself.  I may have had to contend with motorists through the day, but here I have finally found true Anne LaBastille country in the Adirondacks.


Monday, September 23, 2019 -- 6125 km

Ticonderoga!  I've made it to what has always been a psychological milestone for me on this trip.  It was exactly 80 km (50 miles) from Newcomb to here . . . and there was not one single place to stop for coffee.  It's a good thing I still had some bread and Nutella left from yesterday.  I am now luxuriating at a McDonald's.  I never thought I would be so happy to see a McD.  Given the nature of my route, they have been few and far between.  I think the last McD I saw was back around Buffalo.

I have checked into a Super 8 Motel for two nights.  It's time for some rest and finding a laundromat.


Wednesday, September 25, 2019 -- 6176 km

I had a good rest in Ticonderoga.  I took care of laundry and visited the Fort that I first saw with Ma, Dad, and my cousin in 1966 (67?).  I also sat out the rain in Ticonderoga.

Today's was a beautiful, short ride of only 51 km (~30 miles) from Ticonderoga to Middlebury, VT.  I was the only passenger on the ferry crossing Lake Champlain!  The Vermont side of the lake is so much softer, greener than the New York side.

I spent the afternoon in Middlebury visiting the College to learn about the summer Russian language program.  Perhaps next summer?  This is a специальное место (special place) for a close friend who spent his last summer here.

Miscommunication with my Warm Showers host led me to spend the night in a hotel when I had not expected to.  I had given the wrong date to my WS host and couldn't reach her all through the day to see if I could spend the night.  Once again, I am finding that WS is wonderful in theory but is problematic in practice.  On my next journey I'll do better.

I also went to a local clinic to check out my achy ankle and bruise I have had on my right calf that appeared, I think, after my spill on the Great Allegheny Passage near Ohiopyle.  (I believe the right handlebar hit my calf hard when I went over.)  Thankfully, I was told it's not a serious injury and that I can continue on my way.  Ibuprofen and leg elevation for the night are the guidance for the coming days.  I am much relieved.


Thursday, September 26, 2019

Today was the day I knew must come eventually:  rain.  The forecasts had said only showers starting around 1pm, and I thought an early start would keep me out of most of it.  Wrong.  I got to the top of Middlebury Gap before noon, and that is where it began.  The rain intensified as I came down the eastern side.  I stopped at a country store in Hancock for coffee in hopes the showers would pass.  When the sun seemed to be trying to break through, I continued on my way.  Mistake.  The rain started again, became steady, and continued that way until I reached my stopping place in Bethel, where I have an inexpensive B&B for the night.  The rain was not exactly cold, but it certainly was not warm.  I was soaked through by the time I finished this 45-mile day.  Sigh.  I always knew this day would come.


Vermont roads, or at least those I was on today, are among the worst I have experienced.  The state roads are two lane with inconsistent, not-wide shoulders and heavy traffic including big trucks.  This was not a fun day to be on two wheels.

As I write in the Cock a Doodle pizza parlor, the sun again seems to be trying to come out.  What will tomorrow bring?


Friday, September 27, 2019 -- 6342 km

Tomorrow brought a better day.  A wonderful breakfast prepared by S at the B&B in Bethel and a late start did not hold me back from a 55-mile day that brought better roads and sunny weather.

Along the way I met L who is riding the Northern Tier east to west.  She started out from Maine a week ago.  She is the first woman of my age I have encountered who is doing this journey solo.  We stopped and compared notes for at least a half hour.

I crossed into New Hampshire and finished at a campground in North Haverhill.  The highlight of the day was being invited to be part of a birthday celebration by my campground neighbors.

The weather has turned cooler, and the sun was down at 6:30pm.  When I started this trip, sunset was at 7:15.  Autumn moves apace.


Saturday, September 28, 2019

This was a low distance day by design, all of about 25+ miles to Lincoln, NH.  From here to the east there are no services for 35+ of the hilliest miles --  make that mountainous miles -- that I will face on this trip.  It made sense to use Lincoln as the jumping off point for the big day.

For the first time, I find myself wishing for rain.  I booked myself into a not-cheap cheap motel because of yesterday's forecast for rain today.  Lincoln is the Ocean City of Fall Foliage, and the prices prove it.  I would have to show up here on a weekend during foliage season.  Everywhere there are no-vacancy signs, and the traffic on this hilly day was heavy with foliage tourists.

All of that said, today's was a beautiful if hilly ride in the White Mountains.  The road I was on intersected the Appalachian Trail.  (Someday. . . .)  The Whites are different from the Adirondacks of NY and the Greens of VT.  The highlight of the day was buying apple cider from a children's roadside stand.  Their dad told me they had pressed the cider themselves.  Delicious.

I'm justified!  Despite a beautiful, sunny ride, I'm now looking out the window at a light rain and dark skies as I wait for my pizza dinner.


Sunday, September 29, 2019 -- 6510 km

I'm in Maine!  It was a good day, far better than I expected, a 75-mile day.  To my own surprise, I did not need to walk up any portion of the Kancamagus Pass.  I pedalled all the way to 2855 feet.  There were indeed wonderful fall foliage mountain views.  The only thing that spoiled it was the heavy automobile traffic.  I was up and over the Pass before noon, and thus I shudder to think how much heavier the traffic would have been in the afternoon.

The highlight of the day was crossing into Maine.  The end is in sight now.  I'm camped for the night on a lake in Naples, ME.


Monday, September 30, 2019 -- 6619 km

So close but yet so far.  Slow going Northern Tier roads in the morning took time.  I started moving faster when I said goodbye to the Northern Tier in Lewiston and started up U.S. Route 202.  The day produced a metric century overall.  I stopped at a Hampton Inn in Augusta due to the forecast of rain,


Tuesday, October 1, 2019 -- 6740 km

I lost my race with Maine weather.  Like clockwork, the turning of the calendar brought with it a cold, misty, showery day.  I wore everything -- Gore-tex jacket, tights, and all -- as I left Augusta this morning.  It was a day of 6+ hours slogging out the wet 75 miles to Bangor.

But I'm here, comfy in CG and NG's third floor guest bedroom, all showered, dried out, and fed.  For the first time since RK was with me in Frostburg, I am with people I know and care about.  The journey is almost over.


Wednesday, October 2, 2019 -- 6818 km  (Note:  Written on October 3.)

Done.  I rolled into Burlington around 3:30pm.  After a month and two days, some 2495 km (~1560 miles), I am home.

The last day's ride of a bit under 50 miles was more difficult than I expected.  It was a chilly morning (~5C) with a good north headwind fighting me and stinging my eyes as I rode up U.S. Rt. 2 along the Penobscot River.  It reminded me of riding in Astana.  To my surprise, the ride became easier when I got to Pasadumkeag and turned away from the river.  The wind relented, and the sun came out.  The hillier ride from Pasadumkeag to Burlington was the easier part.

I stopped at the general store, ordered a pizza, said hello to my neighbor, and rolled into my own yard.  My month's adventure, the dream of a lifetime, ended at my own front door.


Thursday, October 3, 2019

For a month my  life was a simple one:   get up before sunrise, dry the tent, break camp, pedal hard for 50-75 miles, decide where/how to spend the night, set up camp, eat, sleep, and repeat.  Through hikers on the Appalachian Trail report a re-entry disorientation.  I should not be surprised if I also feel somewhat disoriented to be back to normal life.

Yesterday I showered in time to see my own sunset, have a simple pizza dinner, and collapse.  I slept for over nine hours, the body-clock's 5:30am wakeup finally turned off.

It is going to take some time to sort out my new life.  I called the Subaru dealership in Bangor to see when the new car I ordered in August would be ready for delivery.  I took perverse joy in the answer:  no earlier than October 30.  Since I can no longer legally drive Hillary, my 1991 station wagon, it means my life will be bicycle-centered for another four weeks.  My weight dropped some 8-10 lbs all the way to 132 lbs during my month on the road, the lowest it has been since I joined the Foreign Service in 2004.  Not having a car for the coming month should help me keep that weight from ballooning back.  Even here in Maine I do not want my life to be car-centric.

The month's adventure is over.  I cannot imagine a better way to separate my 15-year FS career from what comes next.  It was a month of physical exertion that was pure in its simplicity, a simplicity that extended to the spirit as I leave the past behind and prepare, yet again in this life, to re-invent myself and prepare for the adventures to come.




* * * * * * * *

Some Thoughts Concerning My Route

My route was as follows:  

  1. C&O Canal towpath from Harper's Ferry to Cumberland, MD, with an excursion on the Western MD rail-trail from Fort Frederick to Little Orleans
  2. Great Allegheny Passage rail-trail from Cumberland, MD, to Pittsburgh, PA.
  3. Adventure Cycling Underground Railroad Pittsburgh Spur from Pittsburgh to Erie, PA
  4. Adventure Cycling Northern Tier transcontinental route from Erie, PA, to Lewiston, ME
  5. U.S. 202 from Lewiston to Bangor, ME, and U.S. 2 from Bangor to near my own home north of Bangor
I am a road cyclist, in fact a certified instructor from the League of American Bicyclists even if I have not taught a course since joining the FS.  It is no surprise that I preferred the on-road portions of this trip even if portions of the C&O and GAP are stunning in their beauty.  It also is no surprise that my one mishap on this entire trip was on the GAP when I was going too fast for trail conditions.

The cue sheet maps from Adventure Cycling are indispensable on a trip like this.  I can not praise the organization highly enough for the quality of the maps and for the list of services in the towns and hamlets the routes pass through.  Only twice did I find the maps inaccurate, once due to road work that required a detour and the other in Newcomb, NY, when it turned out both the town's convenience store and diner had recently closed.  If anyone is contemplating a trip such as this one, join Adventure Cycling.

The only negative thing I have to say about the Adventure Cycling routes is that at times they use two-lane country roads with poor, sometimes crumbling pavement and narrow. inconsistent shoulders.  I actually preferred those country roads that had no shoulders at all, thereby making it clear that proper lane positioning was right in the center of the travel lane.  When there were shoulders on these 2-lane roads, I would compromise by using the shoulders on long, slow uphill climbs and then moving into the travel lane for faster flat and downhill portions.

My comment on the roads comes, I believe, from Adventure Cycling's choice of scenic routes over multi-lane arterials.  Once because of a detour and on 2-3 other occasions by conscious choice, I diverged from the cue sheets to use parallel multi-lane arterials.  From Lewiston, ME, to my home, I was entirely on U.S. routes of my own choosing.

My Rivendell Atlantis touring bike was perfect for a trip such as this one.

One frustration I experienced was the WarmShowers network.  Using WarmShowers is not as easy as logging into Booking.com at the end of the day and looking for a nearby hotel room.  In 20-20 hindsight, I should have researched and contacted WS hosts along my route before I left DC.  In the end I had only one WS stay.  It was a wonderful, memorable night with a family in Erie, PA.  My other attempts to use WS failed either due to miscommunication on my end or to my overshooting the town where the WS host lived and continuing on to a campground further down the road.  Poor cell phone service along much of the route made contacting WS hosts that much more difficult.

That said, I look forward to being a WS host myself and to doing my WS research before my next trip.  Making good use of WS is the best way I know to limit lodging costs that are the biggest expense on a trip of this type.

I regret my trip was not longer.  I was itching to get on the road all through July and August but was still tied to a job and career.  Starting out as I did on August 31, I knew I was in a race against New England weather.  My coldest, wettest days were in Vermont and Maine.  Liberated as I am now from a desk, I look to return to the Northern Tier and complete the full transcontinental route in the next 1-3 years.



* * * * * * 

My Packing List

On August 31 I wrote, "I'm too heavily loaded, but oh well.  I'll have to learn all over again."  I learned quickly.  In Cumberland I went to the post office and got rid of 10-15 lbs of stuff I never should have packed in the first place.  That included my New York City Kryptonite lock that weighs 5 lbs on its own.  I visited the post office again in Ticonderoga, NY, and mailed on to Maine another 5 lbs of clothing and miscellaneous.  If I had this trip to do again, I would consider a different, lighter tent.  My 12-year old REI half dome tent is more appropriate for car camping.

For the record, here is what was packed in my panniers when I pulled into my driveway in Maine.  What I still had with the bike at this point was, I believe, just what I needed, nothing more and nothing less.

Front Left Pannier
  • Sun block (small amount in pill box)
  • USB charger, external battery, and ear buds for telephone (in zip lock)
  • Food bag (snacks, plastic utensils, napkins, and powdered lemonade in zip lock)
  • Purse
  • Maps
  • Toiletries bag containing:

  • - Facial moisturizer
    - Deodorant
    - Tweezers
    - Eye drops
    - Tooth brush and tooth paste (small amount in pill box)
    - Dental floss
    - Hand lotion
    - Triple antibiotic cream
    - Fingernail clipper and emory board

Front Right Pannier
  • Odor eaters for shoes (definitely needed!)
  • Charger for headlight
  • Orange vest
  • Wind breaker
  • Plastic bag containing:

    - Vitamins (zip lock)
    - Small medical kit (zip lock)
    - Prescription medications (zip lock)
     

  • Hair care bag containing disposable shower cap, hair pins, and small amounts of shampoo, conditioner, and gel in pill boxes
  • Baby shampoo used both for hair and for handwashing clothes in campground and hotel sinks
  • Bike tools/supplies:

    - Lube
    - Spare inner tupe
    - Tire levers and patch kit
    - Multi-tool and wrench
    - Electrical tape

Rear Left Pannier
  • Sleeping bag in compression sack
  • Mummy sack
  • Inflatable air mattress
  • Freshette (makes all the difference in getting through the night!)
  • Panier side pocket:  sun glasses, cell phone, ankle straps


Rear Right Pannier
  • Stuff bag with sleeping cap and shorts
  • Stuff bag with winter tights
  • Stuff bag with Gore-tex jacket and helmet liner
  • Stuff bag (actually, the stuff bag for the sleeping bag) containing the following clothes:

    - 2 pair lightweight black slacks
    - 2 sport bras
    - 2 lightweight long sleeve tops
    - 3 short sleeve bike tops
    - 2 sleeveless bike sport tops
  • Zip lock with shorts and top for hotel/campground
  • Zip lock with 4 pair bike socks and one pair wool socks
  • Loose in bag:  2 pair bike skorts, 1 pair bike shorts, 1 padded liner to wear under winter tights, and cold weather lobster gloves
  • Dirty clothes bag
  • Panier side pocket:  1 bra and 2 panties in zip locks


Front Rack Trunk
  • Zip lock with toilet paper, paper towels, and napkins
  • Zip lock with towel and washcloth
  • Zip lock with basic earrings
  • Zip lock with makeup wipes
  • LED headlight
  • Hand sanitizer
  • Ben's tick and insect repellent (sent home to Maine from Ticonderoga)
  • Spatula for spreading sun block on back

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

The Waters of March

It rained in Astana late last week for the first time this year, but today, March 27, there is a new layer of snow as the long continental winter reasserts itself.  The clouds thickened yesterday morning.  The snow began falling heavily by noon and so continued into the night.  Such is spring on the frozen steppe nearly a week after the Vernal Equinox.  What else should one expect when one is living at the same latitude as the northern tip of Newfoundland?


Фото Robyn Alice  McCutcheon.
View Over the Frozen Esil' River on March 20

But unlike the snows of February, this new snowfall will not last.  Daytime temperatures hover near freezing now.  Bare spots had begun appearing in the blanket of white before yesterday's March surprise, and for the first time this year, birds could be heard singing in the branches of the trees in Presidential Park.  The Sun now warms the skin and is setting after 7pm in this land of perpetual daylight savings time.

Last week was the spring holiday of Nauryz.  With the Embassy closed for three days plus a couple of days' leave, I rested without guilt for a full nine days.  Winter here is tenacious and hard, and the coming months will bring long hours of work with the coming of the Astana Expo and other events that will bring many a Washington visitor.  The week of Nauryz was a time to rest up and rest forward, a time for the first long walks of 2017.

With the coming of spring also comes the first hint that my time here will be ending.  I arrived in Astana two and a half years ago today.  I remember standing on my balcony sometime after midnight after my Embassy sponsor had dropped me at my new home.  I looked out on the Akorda Presidential Palace and the Esil' River and wondered how I would survive three years in a new job in a city where I knew no one.  "May these years go quickly," I thought.

Fast forward to last September 23.  NN and I had just landed back in Astana after five weeks in the US.  I felt conflicted.  On the one hand I felt ready to call an end to the work career right then and there.  I am tired, and my new home in Maine beckons.  The policies of the new administration in Washington are at odds with my beliefs and values.  All of this tells me it's time to go.

At the same time I never want to leave.  I said to NN that day last September that for as long as there is ice and snow on the ground, my time on the frozen steppe is as eternal as the Astana winter.

And why, as tired and opposed to new Washington policies as I am, do I not want to leave?  In part it's the knowledge that this will be the end of my overseas life, over a dozen years that have seen me living in Moscow, Tashkent, Bucharest, and now Astana, the fulfillment of a lifetime dream to live and work in countries where Russian is at least a second language.  It will be the end of a time that freed me and let me at last live the life I was born to live.  But more than anything else, I don't want to leave the people I have come to know and love.  I have family here.

On that night in September 2014, my apartment seemed cold and empty, devoid of life and love.  Now I joke that it's the young women's hostel of Astana.  First there was NN whom I met in my first week.  By December she was my official member of household living in my guest bedroom.  Then there was UE, my dearest friend whom I came to trust in everything.  I didn't even realize that at some level I, like many, was in love with him until he was taken from us far too soon, leaving me and dozens of others bereft and lost.  I cried more than at any time since my Mom died ten years ago.  The day UE and I paddled a kayak up the Esil' River with NN walking along on the embankment will always shine out as my best day in this country.


My Happiest Day in Kazakhstan
And through UE there came LB, LN, MU, TN, and many others.  Through NN there came XP, who spent many a night sleeping on the living room couch.  I could go on with a list that would stretch to two dozen or more, all of whom have filled my apartment with laughter, tears, and life.

Later, just one year ago, there came LT, my young soul sister who reminds me so much of myself at her age with the difference that she has an inner strength at her age that I did not.  LT now shares the second bedroom with NN as we work to secure her future.  I have linked my life and fortune to hers.  And with LT there came her most wonderful Mom LO who could be a role model for us all in her acceptance and caring for her daughter.  Together, NN, LT, LO, and I have created a family.


During Nauryz week we took long walks, shared lazy meals, and supported LT as she prepared for the TOEFL exam.  When she took the exam last Saturday, we all went with her and were as nervous as she was.

That's why I don't want to leave.  Astana has become home, and now the coming of spring reminds me that the time to go, still some five or six months distant, will come quickly.

But there is also hope.  Before yesterday's snow, we had already seen the first light rain of this year.  The waters of March and April are coming and bring a promise of joy and continuation.  As it was with Bucharest, I have put down roots here that I will nurture and cherish in the years to come.  I will be coming back.  More than that, I am seeing to it that part of my Astana life goes with me and puts down roots in the US.

My last winter in Astana has ended, but the seedlings tended through the long winter will soon bear fruit.  Spring, summer, and the future beckon.  The love goes on.
* * * * * * * * * *

The Waters of March, written my Antonio Carlos Jobim and performed here by him with Elis Regina, is my favorite Brazilian song.  "The waters of March close the season and bring the promise of life in your heart."




Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Yes, We Can!

On January 21 I felt hope and optimism for the first time since November 9.  Like many liberal, progressive Democrats, I had been complacent in the run-up to the 2016 presidential election.  Whether we elected Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton, I would have been happy and content.  (For personal reasons, I supported Hillary and still consider her one of the greatest women I have known and, in my professional role, worked for.  A European socialist at heart, I loved Bernie's call to the progressive Left.)  What was absolutely clear was that a narcissistic demagogue with an authoritarian streak could not possibly become President of the United States.  Love does trump hate, and we could not elect as our President a man who denigrates women and call out all the worst traits from the dark reaches of the soul.

Except we did.  As I have already written and as many a better observer has written more eloquently, we awoke on November 8 to find out faith in an inclusive, progressive America shaken to the core.  Getting a grip on ourselves in the midst of our shock, I and others wrote that Resistance Is Not Futile!  Over the coming weeks we grasped at straws, hoping against hope that the Electoral College would deny the Presidency to a demagogue.  We watched as the hours separating us from the fate we wanted to deny dwindled to a precious few.  We had tears in our eyes as we listened to President Obama's farewell speech and heard his call not to lose faith in the power of working together to achieve a future to believe in.  Then it happened,  On January 20 at noon, our country turned a page and swore in as President a man who is the antithesis of all I and, as witnessed in the popular vote, over half of the voting public believe in.


January 20, Waiting at Checkpoint
January 20 found me in line at 7:30am to pass through the 7th and C Street, NW, checkpoint to join the one permitted protest along the inauguration parade route.  It took over four and a half hours to inch forward and pass through the checkpoint.  I made friends with my line neighbors.  The young woman next to me had flown in from California for the protest and gave me her second sign to carry.  We broke into chants and cheers, drowning out the few Trump supporters who, likely not knowing that this was the main checkpoint for protesters, were also in the line.  Once in, I met up with a friend from a sister agency and her partner.  We sat in the raw weather under occasional drizzle, using a transgender flag to warm ourselves.  Sometime between 3 and 4pm, we moved as close to Pennsylvania Ave. as we could and jeered and taunted  loudly as the Presidential motorcade passed by.  Then we turned and went home.  Our protest may not have changed anything, but at least we had shown up.  Sometimes “just showing up” to make a statement is important.  This was one of those times.


The next day was different.  I felt the difference as soon as I arrived at the New Carrollton Metro station.  The line for fare cards extended out of the station into the kiss-and-ride area.  Even those of us who already had fare cards had to wait patiently in line to pass through the turnstiles.  The train was full, and pink and red pussy hats were in evidence everywhere.  At each stop, more and more women and many men joined us.


I got off at Eastern Market.  I still had a walk to the Hirschorn, the designated meeting point for the marchers from my home state of Maine, but I wanted to get a feel for the day.  The streets were already heavy with foot traffic, everyone headed for the Mall, people saying “Hello!” and waving to each other.  Smiles were everywhere, people asking each other where they were from.  By the time I got to the Mall, it was clear the women's march was going to be the largest protest event I had ever participated in.  Then I saw the Hirschorn and a woman in blaze orange, the chosen color for marchers from Maine, on the corner giving directions.  I joined the group behind our banner as we cheered the Maine motto Dirigo! We Lead!  The group leader called the roll call of Maine counties, and I proudly shouted out when Penobscot was called.  Then we marched as a group to the rally site.

For four hours we stood.  It was already clear that far more people had turned out than anyone had expected.  I could not hear the speakers where I stood, but we could see them on the projection screen.  I could see Gloria Steinem, Michael Moore, Janet Mock, and the many other heroines and heroes who had come to speak to and join us.  (Later I listened to many of the speeches on YouTube.)

Around 2:00 pm the crowd began to move.  We marched at a snail's pace across the Mall, holding our signs high and chanting.

“We're the popular vote!”

“What does democracy look like?  This is what democracy looks like!”

“We're not going away.  Welcome to your first day!”

“We need a leader, not a creepy tweeter!”

“This land is your land, this land is my land!”

“No hate, no fear, immigrants are welcome here!”


The mood was at once defiant and joyous.  We were the popular vote majority of the U.S. population who had rejected hate, and we had found our voice in a sea of pink and red pussy hats, the newly minted symbol of our progressive revolution.  As we passed the Old Post Office, now a Trump hotel, we raised our fists and yelled “Shame!”  Our voices reverberated off the buildings surrounding Freedom Square.  Never will Pennsylvania Ave. look the same to me after that day.  I doubt it will look the same to anyone who was there that day.  Together we made history.

I now sit in a United flight ready to take off for Europe.  In a week, after visiting friends in Romania, I'll be back on the job in Astana.  But life has changed.  I am now with Mainers for Accountable Leadership and began my day with calls to the offices of Representative Poliquin and Senators Collins and King.  Complacency is over.  My life as an activist has begun.

As President Obama said, “Yes, we can!”  And so we will.



Sunday, January 8, 2017

What Would George Kennan Say?

The attention being paid to possible Russian efforts to influence the results of the 2016 U.S. election brings me back to an earlier time.  It was 1946, and much of post-war Europe lay in ruins.  The war alliance between the US, Great Britain, and the Soviet Union was unraveling as one Eastern European country after another fell under Soviet domination.  Free, fair elections, and self-determination were giving way to an order dictated by Moscow, the iron curtain coming down fully with the suicide/murder of Jan Masaryk and the Communist coups d'état in Czechoslovakia in 1958.

Washington was slow to react.  It is the job of diplomats to report on political developments, but years of cables written by the U.S. Embassy in Moscow were getting scant notice.  Then, in 1946, the Embassy received a cable from Washington in which it was asked, in effect, to "tell us what, after all, Moscow, is after."  Ambassador Averell Harriman was away, leaving his deputy George Kennan as chargé d'affaires ad interim.  The very question from Washington must have frustrated Kennan, demonstrating as it did that the Embassy's reporting had been largely ignored.  Kennan, sick in bed with the flu, nevertheless set to dictating his reply in what became famous as the 5500 word long telegram.

George Kennan (1904-2005)
Kennan's long telegram fell on fertile ears.  The response from Washington was swift.  Within days Kennan was ordered home to brief top decision makers who were trying to decide how the US should respond to expanding Soviet dominance in Europe.  Kennan's career was made.  He became both a diplomatic celebrity and one of America's top foreign policy analysts.  He became the State Department's first Director of Policy and Planning.  After retirement, he went to a distinguished career as elder statesman and historian, dying only in 2005 at the age of 101.

So what did Kennan say in his long telegram and in his subsequent 1947 Mr. X article in the journal Foreign Affairs?  Kennan's main points included:
  • Moscow is "committed fanatically to the belief that with the United States there can be no permanent modus vivendi, that it is desirable and necessary that the internal harmony of our society be disrupted." 
  • Moscow will therefore exploit all opportunities to foment disunity in Western nations, to generate conditions under which “poor will be set against rich, black against white, young against old, newcomers against established residents, etc.” 
  • Moscow “does not work by fixed plans. It does not take unnecessary risks. Impervious to logic of reason, . . . it is highly sensitive to logic of force. . . .”  
  • Soviet expansion can be thwarted if the United States and other Western democracies act with “cohesion, firmness, and vigor,” making use of “adroit and vigilant application of counter-force” to oppose Soviet expansionism and pressure against “the free institutions of the Western world.” 
  • “The main element of any United States policy toward the Soviet Union must be that of a long-term, patient but firm and vigilant containment of Russian expansive tendencies.” 
I have myself spent years in the Soviet Union, Russia, and in post-Soviet space.  I first visited the Soviet Union during the Brezhnev years, was there during the time of glasnost' under Gorbachev, returned during the optimism and frustration of the Yeltsin years, and have spent most of the past dozen years in post-Soviet space.  I can speak only for myself, not as a State Department representative, but in that private capacity I can say I do see similarities between Russia-West relations today and post-war Soviet-West relations.  The difference is that today there are methods in the foreign policy toolkit that are much easier to deploy.  Influencing elections and policies in the West via disinformation is much cheaper than deploying an army.  It just could be the biggest bang for the buck for anyone or any government seeking to achieve its ends at minimal cost.  And it can be quite effective.

The Long Telegram (Source:  Truman Library)
For Americans living in countries where Russian media dominates, looking at state-controlled Russian news is a dose of alternative reality.  The US is backing fascists in Ukraine, and Russian soldiers are heroes in Syria.  Most people believe what they see and hear.  For them, this is reality.  Once my cosmetologist, while getting ready to inject my face with a needle, asked me, "Why is the US waging war in Ukraine?"  That is just one of many such examples of how people whom I count as friends see the US.  Our own media presence is minimal and consists of re-runs of old U.S. sitcoms and goodwill tours by American performing artists.  The contest in the information wars isn't even close.

Knowing the line between my official role and my life as a private citizen, I will stop here.  Suffice it to say that George Kennan figured large in my decision to join the Foreign Service, and I offer his words, penned in 1946-47, for consideration today.

Saturday, December 31, 2016

Petlura at the Gates

Great and terrible was the year of Our Lord 1918, of the Revolution the second.  Its summer abundant with warmth and sun, its winter with snow, highest in its heaven stood two stars:  the shepherds' star, eventide Venus; and Mars - quivering, red.
But in days of blood as in days of peace the years fly like an arrow and the thick frost of a hoary white December, season of Christmas trees, Santa Claus, joy and glittering snow, overtook the young Turbins unawares. . . .
Those are the opening lines of Mikhail Bulgakov's The White Guard in the translation of Michael Glenny.  It was December 1918, and Petlura stood at the gates of Kyiv.  

Kyiv in 1918-19.  I don't recall how many times the city changed hands, but it was at least a dozen times or more.  For many of the educated Russian elite who escaped there from Moscow and Petrograd, Kyiv seemed to offer an oasis, the hope of a non-Bolshevik future.  First there was the German occupation under Hetman Skoropadsky that, had Germany prevailed in World War I, might have continued for years if not decades.  Then there was Petlura.  Then the Bolsheviks.  Then the White Army under General Denikin in its drive na Moskvu to restore a Great Russia.  Then the Bolsheviks again, with many of the educated elite fleeing together with the Whites for Crimea and a final, doomed stand against the Bolsheviks.


13 Alekseevsky spusk, Kyiv
With the world churning around them, the Turbin family huddled together in their home on Alekseevsky Spusk No. 13 in Kyiv.  It was a holiday season saddened by the loss of their mother and by the uncertainties of what 1919 would bring.  As best they could, they laughed, sang, and made light of their fears, writing graffiti on their tiled Dutch stove to poke fun at the competing political movements and revolutions that would destroy them.


Bulgakov Museum, Kyiv; the Dutch Stove
I've been thinking of the Turbins at the end of this year.  In 1918 Symon Petlura, a Ukrainian nationalist, perhaps even a populist, stood at the gates of Kyiv, leader of the first of a series of political and military movements that would destroy the way of life that the Turbins and others in the educated elite had taken for granted.  As 2017 dawns, many of us fear what the new Trumpist revolution will bring and what it will mean for the liberal democracy that we thought would last forever.  Like the Turbins, we have found comfort in family and friends this Christmas-New Year week.  For one week we can push away the reality that is standing at our gates.


Symon Petlura
2017 also marks the 100th anniversary of the 1917 Great October Soviet Socialist Revolution.  One could say that it was the November Surprise of Russian political life that year.  (Since Russia was still using the Julian calendar, the October Revolution actually took place in November.)  A ruinous war had demoralized the country, and both the army and the broad masses of workers and peasants were fertile ground for the Bolshevik rallying cry of Peace, Land, Bread!  Few had any presentiment that those same workers and, in particular, the peasants would have the most to lose in decades of Communism, Stalinism, collectivization of agriculture, and five year plans.  I wonder how Moscow will choose to note this 100th anniversary?  


Days of the Turbins, Stage Production
Another image from my university years comes to mind, that of U.Va. history professor Walter Sablinsky telling us that when the Russian Empire collapsed, it went down with its flags flying and trumpets sounding.  The Romanovs had just celebrated their tricentennial.  Their order and that of the European continent seemed permanent.  War in Europe was unthinkable, yet World War I and revolution were about to sweep it all away. 

So how will we look back 100 years from now?  Will the Trumpist ascendancy fizzle out and mainstream politics reassert themselves?  Or, like Russia in 2017, are we destined for an authoritarian future and just don't know the outlines yet?  Is the post-World War II order coming to an end?

All I can offer today for those of us who supported Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders is the same comfort that the Turbins found at the end of 1918.  Like the Turbins, we can look for sardonic humor, posting it to our Facebook pages, the Dutch stoves of our times.  And may we, unlike the Turbins, look back a year from now and not find that events have forced us to wipe those stoves clean as censorship and self-censorship become the norm of a new age.  

So for the moment let's find comfort, joy, and solace in our family and friends.  It's still 2016.  Petlura is only at the gates of the city, not yet inside.  

================================================

NOTES:

1) Many who read The White Guard come to it after reading Bulgakov's more famous novel Master and Margarita, but I came to it in a different way.  While a history student at the University of Virginia in the 1970s, I read George Kennan's The Decision To Intervene about the U.S. decision to intervene in the Russian Civil War that followed the revolutions of 1917.  Kennan began his historical account by quoting these opening lines from The White Guard, which he referred to as an out-of-print novel by a nearly forgotten author.  Ironically, Stalin liked The Days of the Turbins, the stage production of The White Guard at the Moscow Art Theater in the 1920s.  Nevertheless, Stalin slammed the doors shut on Bulgakov's literary career.  When Bulgakov wrote Master and Margarita in the 1930s, he wrote it for the desk, knowing it would not be published in his lifetime.  When Kennan wrote The Decision To Intervene in the 1950s, Bulgakov was indeed nearly unknown outside the Soviet Union.  Only when Master and Margarita was published posthumously in the 1960s did Bulgakov become recognized as one of the Russian literary greats of the twentieth century.

2) A very Soviet, 1976 film version of Days of the Turbins can be found on YouTube in two parts:  Part 1 and Part 2 .

3) A serialized film version of The White Guard premiered on Russian television in 2012.  Brilliantly filmed and acted, this 2012 version contains a subtext, comparing the situation in Ukraine after the collapse of the Soviet Union with that in 1918.


Trotsky, French Novels, and Us

Leon Trotsky, The Prophet in the biographical trilogy by Isaac Deutscher, is not someone most of us think about on a regular basis.  Since the U.S. election in November, however, he's been on my mind.  More precisely, my mind has been conjuring up a particular image, that of Trotsky reading French novels as his political life was crashing down.


Leon Trotsky (1924)
No one, least of all Trotsky, could envision that Stalin, the grey blur with the functional position of General Secretary, would destroy all opposition in the Bolshevik Party through intrigue, deft use of wedge issues and personality differences among his opponents, and outright terror.  Trotsky's reaction as the noose tightened around his political neck in 1924-27 is one that still surprises and astounds biographers and historians:  he withdrew.  As Neal Ascheson writes in his review of Deutscher's Trotsky trilogy:
This passivity remains the mystery of his life.  After that Congress [XIV Party Congress of December 1925], his fate and that of the opposition were sealed; events moved slowly towards his exclusion, his deportation to Alma Ata in 1927 and his expulsion to Istanbul in 1929.  In that crucial period of 1924-27, one of the most forceful, restless personalities in history behaved like a Hamlet.  Why?  A sort of pathological disconnection, perhaps, which distanced him from political intrigues he found revolting?  Or intellectual arrogance:  the refusal to compete against people he secretly considered his inferiors?  He was certainly arrogant; to take a comic example, he probably had no idea of the resentment he caused by reading French novels during Central Committee sessions. 
Trotsky reading French novels.  I wonder if some, perhaps most, of the U.S. electorate that voted for Donald Trump doesn't view supporters of the Democratic Party in the same way, as divorced from reality, arrogantly reading French novels that they see as having little relationship to their lives?


XIV Party Congress, December 1925
Since the election I have been forcing myself to listen to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and other conservative talk show hosts and Fox News broadcasts.  They make for difficult, painful listening.  If Bernie Sanders and other Democratic Party politicians talk about trying to find common ground on issues such as rebuilding U.S. infrastructure, this is not what I am hearing on conservative talk shows.  Rather, elation at victory over the liberal establishment and charges that those opposed to the incoming administration are hysterical are louder than what mainstream media had led me to believe before the election.


Joseph Stalin (1920s)
If there is a lesson from the life of Trotsky, it is that those of us being charged with liberal hysteria need to put away our French novels.  As post-election maps have shown, we are a nation that is deeply split both culturally and politically.  We move in our own groups with almost no communication, almost no exposure to each other.  If I can give myself an undeserved pat on the shoulder, it's that I unwittingly find myself as a blue homesteader in a red district, having moved to rural Maine in 2009.  (I may just be the only Hillary Clinton voter in my small town.)  As such, I know the pain of small town Mainers who saw their lives upended when NAFTA resulted in closed factories and as mills closed up shop.  The median income in my town is a tad below $12,000 with jobs becoming scarcer all the time.  The cost of higher education has put it out of reach for most.  Is it any surprise that the natural beauty that attracted me to Maine belies a growing drug problem for a population that sees a life that is increasingly without hope?  Is it any surprise that my neighbors would vote for someone who promises to smash the existing Washington system?  Is it any surprise that they would view the Democratic Party or even the mainstream Republican Party as divorced from their reality?

The Democratic Party is indeed going through a time of tumult as it attempts to grasp the post-election reality that promises to sweep away much of the legacy of past eight years.  Yet the need to continue U.S. leadership in climate change remains.  So does support for human rights in all of its dimensions both within and outside the US.  And this is not a time for a dramatic shift in our alliances and relations with other major powers.  


Another lesson from the Soviet Union from the Stalin period is that Stalin was wildly popular among the common population.  In his way he may even have been a populist.  That popularity endured throughout his authoritarian rule and has never faded away despite attempts by Khrushchev and others to publicize the crimes against humanity during his rule.  Only those directly affected by Stalinist terror came to understand the nature of his rule, often only after being arrested, convicted, and sent to the Gulag or, in the case of many, just as the executioner's bullet entered their brains.  Stalin distrusted the educated elite that he viewed as a source of opposition, and this elite suffered more than many other groups as Stalinist terror rolled across the country in repeated waves.  Even at the height of the Great Terror in 1936-38, the average person likely saw the accused as rightly convicted and sentenced, in the words of prosecutor Andrey Vyshinsky, to be shot "like the mad dogs they are."  To many, the removal of a Western educated specialist meant an opportunity for a worker, a Red specialist, to move up in the world.


I do not wish to imply any equivalence between the Soviet Union of the 1920s and 30s with the United States of today.  There is none.  Trotsky was a major player in creating the system that allowed Stalin to destroy him.  Nor do I view Trotsky as romantic or heroic.  Had he lived, he may have been more ideologically pure but just as bloody to his opponents as Stalin.  Yet as someone who has spent much of her life studying Russian and Soviet history, I believe there is a lesson to be drawn from Trotsky's downfall.  


For those of us who voted for Hillary Clinton or, during the primaries, for Bernie Sanders, it is time to work harder than ever to communicate what we believe in as core principles:  protection of human and civil rights for all both at home and abroad, saving this planet for posterity, promoting equality for all, and advancing the interests and equality of the working and middle classes.  It is a time to organize, to write letters to our elected representatives, calling on them to oppose cabinet nominations or policy changes that we consider dangerous.  It's time to donate and commit time to non-governmental organizations whose programs we support.  It's no longer sufficient for those committed to liberal principles just to vote.  


Let's not allow the November 2016 election be our equivalent of the Soviet XIV Party Congress.  We need to put away our French novels, not acquiesce to passivity, and get to work.  The consequences of not doing so are too frightful to contemplate.


Resistance Is Not Futile

The morning of November 9 found me in Copenhagen.  As I awoke that morning, the Trump victory was not yet a foregone conclusion.  Hillary could still pull it out, I felt sure as I headed out the door of my hotel.  Surely she will pull it out.  But by the time I reached the conference on environmental and related issues for which I had come to Denmark, it was over.  I spent the day in numbed shock, feeling I must still be asleep in a nightmare from which I would surely wake.  Then came Wednesday night and the following days.  The reality sank in.  The age of endarkenment seemingly had spread across my country.  Would it ever be the same?  Would any of us?

At some level I had seen this coming.  Over a year ago, when it came time for me to bid on my post-Kazakhstan posting in 2017, I had a choice of staying overseas or returning to Washington.  I chose the latter, largely for personal reasons but also because I knew the pattern of presidential races has been for any party that has been in power for two terms to be voted out.  The odds were good that the Republican Party would regain the presidency, and I did not want to be overseas in a position where I would have to defend policies with which I fundamentally disagree.  By going back to a largely non-political job in Washington, I would not have to say words in public that would make me turn red with embarrassment and cause me to retch when I would get back to the privacy of my own quarters.

That was a year ago.  Still, as the presidential campaign wore on, the hope inside me grew that I was wrong.  Donald Trump's campaign based on populist say whatever the current crowd wants to hear with its racist overtones could not possibly succeed.  His appeal to the most base emotions with scarcely a shred of real policy proposals was doomed to fail.  No educated person could stomach him for long.

But it has come to pass.  Donald Trump, like it or not, has been anointed, largely by white men who long for a return of the 1950s when a white man could buy a car, buy a house, and support a family while working a high-paying factory job.  Industry in Germany, the UK, France, Japan, and the Soviet Union had been leveled by World War II.  Only the US stood unscathed, and we ruled the world.  Life was good . . .

Unless one was black, female, LGBT, an immigrant, or member of some other minority group that could easily be ignored by privileged white males.  That began to change in the 1950s with the civil rights movement, followed closely thereupon by the anti-war movement and women's liberation.  Then came Nixon and Watergate and disillusionment that led first to the election of Jimmy Carter and then . . . to Reagan!

It was with the election of Reagan in 1980 that I first sensed I was out of touch with that large segment of the U.S. population that had elected him.  Having grown up in New York City, having been educated at leading East Coast public and private universities, and having a deep knowledge of at least one foreign country together with its language and culture, I had become what much of the country despises:  a member of the educated, cosmopolitan elite.  

Therein lies the tragedy of the Democratic Party:  we lost touch with the working classes that in the past had been at the center of labor activism that supported progressive policies.  Unions were allowed to fail, and little was done to oppose Republican policies that hastened the unraveling of what unions had fought so hard to achieve.  Of all our failures, the greatest was to allow the cost of higher education to climb to the skies at the same time that the quality of secondary education was falling.  The divide between the working class and the educated class widened.  Workers with only high school educations found themselves at service jobs for minimum wage and looked enviously at the educated class even as many members of that class were far from being in the top 1% of the moneyed elite.  

Is it any surprise that a populist message, even when that appealed to angry racist instincts, would appeal to those who felt left out in this modern global economy?  Sound bites and tweets took the place of well-reasoned dialog that a large portion of the U.S. population had lost the ability to engage in.  The coming of a man like Donald Trump is something we should have seen coming but, hoping against hope and talking only to ourselves, did not.

I worry to the depths over what the incoming Trump administration will do to the country, to the progressive social fabric that had moved inexorably forward through most of my life, and to the planet.  Most of all I fear what will happen to the Paris Agreement on climate change that has been at the center of much of my work for the past two years.  Will it all be swept away by a man who believes climate change is a hoax?

I have been devouring the opinion columns in the International New York Times each day since the dark morning of November 10.  Of the many columns I have read, I take heart most of all from a November 12-13 column by Timothy Egan, Resistance Is not Futile.  I particularly like his comment about my own employer:
The State Department, which usually tries to be a force for good, advocating human rights over bottom lines, cannot be easily pressed into aiding the globe's gangsters and oligarchs, even if New Gingrich is secretary of state.
I hope I can look back four years from now and say those words applied to me.  With less than three years left until retirement, I have no career ladder to climb, no career to risk.  The professionals I work with care deeply about their issues.  Even if a different direction is given at the top, it will take a full purge to rid the State Department and other government agencies of their educated professionals.  For once, bureaucracy can be a force for good, standing in the way of policies likely to unhinge this planet from its moorings.

Meanwhile, I take courage from the scenes of peaceful anti-Trump demonstrations in many U.S. cities.  Just as in the days of the civil rights movement, this is the time for the exercise of freedom of speech and peaceful resistance.  It will be a time for civil disobedience if Trump insists on pushing through much of his campaign rhetoric as policy.  May that power of the people then extend to the Democratic Party as it reorganizes and reestablishes communication with the working class that it left behind.  

Resistance is not futile.  It is, rather, the only way left to us.